Welcome! My name is Maaike Helder, and this is my story.

In October 2019, my world was turned upside down. What started as a life full of trust and stability suddenly changed when I discovered that my partner had cheated on me. The loss of trust, self-worth, and my sense of control was overwhelming. My family fell apart, and I was faced with a long, uncertain journey.

It was that October morning when I, in a moment of doubt, made a discovery that would change my life forever. I found messages from other women on my partner’s business phone. Messages that were definitely not meant for me, but which confirmed everything I had suspected. My world came crashing down. Everything I had believed in and trusted fell apart. The man I thought I knew had hurt me in a way I never could have foreseen. My trust in him, my self-confidence, and my sense of safety vanished in an instant.

The initial shock was hard to process. I decided to first keep everything quietly to myself and keep things as calm as possible for the children. That turned out to be harder than I thought. Confrontation was inevitable, and when I confronted my ex, I was shocked by his reaction. He grabbed his business phone from my hands, packed his already packed suitcase, and left. It felt like I was in a bad movie; everything happened so quickly. But the reality was that my children and I were left in complete shock.

The weeks following his departure were a whirlwind of emotions, mainly uncertainty and sadness. I had no choice but to keep moving forward and pick up the pieces. Together with my parents and those around me, I began thinking about the future, especially for the children; how could we ensure that my children and I would make it through this divorce process as smoothly as possible? What did I need for that? And who could help me? The mediation process I proposed ended up being short-lived, and it soon became clear that a legal battle was unavoidable.

My Journey Through Divorce

The years that followed were tough, but I also learned a lot. I realized that divorce is more than just the legal process—it’s about healing yourself, finding support, practical help, and relearning to trust and rebuild. My struggle was intense and often discouraging. The legal battles, the many court cases, the endless documents, and the difficult conversations were exhausting; it turned out to be a test of endurance.

Through my own experience, I quickly realized how incredibly important it is to find support in times of crisis. I was lucky to have people around me who supported and helped me, making me feel like I wasn’t alone. You can always seek help, whether it’s legal support, practical advice, or emotional guidance. It’s crucial for how you come out of the struggle.